A Portrait of Robert Burns Robert Burns

1786 · Poem

The Calf


Right, sir! your text I’ll prove it true,Tho’ heretics may laugh;For instance, there’s yourself just now,God knows, an unco calf.4
And should some patron be so kind,As bless you wi’ a kirk,I doubt na, sir but then we’ll find,Ye’re still as great a stirk.8
But, if the lover’s raptur’d hour,Shall ever be your lot,Forbid it, ev’ry heavenly Power,You e’er should be a stot!12
Tho’ when some kind connubial dearYour but—and—ben adorns,The like has been that you may wearA noble head of horns.16
And, in your lug, most reverend James,To hear you roar and rowt,Few men o’ sense will doubt your claimsTo rank amang the nowt.20
And when ye’re number’d wi’ the dead,Below a grassy hillock,With justice they may mark your head—“Here lies a famous bullock!”24
Year
1786
Form
Poem
Location
Mossgiel
Source
Project Gutenberg #1279 — Poems and Songs of Robert Burns